27 March 2012

I swear

No, really, I do. Or maybe "cuss" is the better word- the cutesy-but-appropriate word, because I don't really "curse", but prefer the euphemistic terms, generally. You know, "sheesh" and "flippin'" and "blinkin'". But I do like my expletives. They have to have some good sibilants or plosives to make them work. Try hissing out that "shshshshss!" at the beginning and end of "sheesh" when you're really frustrated, and you'll know what I mean. It's a much more satisfying sound than, say, "mommmm". Cracking out a "p" or "k" sound, like in "crap!" works too. Well, I suppose that one already crosses the line into "hard core swearing", which, I'll admit, I've been known to do, too, in moments of extreme provocation.

The funny thing is, though, that for my personal expletive satisfaction the word doesn't even have to mean anything, per se. I don't need shock value, just a good sound combination. My favourite word for the purpose is the Swabian "Heideneinomal!" which means nothing-at-all (no, it doesn't mean "nothing-at-all", it means nothing. At all.). Although I'm sure it had its origin in some profanity, probably something to do with "heilig" (holy), but that's not why I use it. It just sounds kind of neat- try it, "high deny no mall!" and sort of slur it together, and then huff it out in one go. Works, doesn't it? The ultimate expression of exasperation.

That picture up there, that's my tray of butterhead lettuce and onion seedlings, about half an hour ago. I carried it to the sink, gave it a good soaking, and when I took it back to the seedling shelf, it buckled in the middle. SPLAT! That rated a good, long, very loud "AyayayayayayayayaYAI!" If they had been more impressive seedlings, something a little stronger in the expletives line might have been warranted. As is, some of them were saved, so we'll see if they still turn into anything. On the upside, some of the dirt splattered about six feet away from where the tray hit. That has got be some kind of record, doesn't it? Olympic Seedling-Dirt Splattering. The heats are immediately after the Creative-Swearing ones, on Tuesday afternoon.

AtDollarPercentAmpersandNumberSymbol, I say!


  1. Sorry about your seedlings. My lettuce and spinach all died but the second batch is growing well. The petunias never did show up but the tomatoes are doing well.

  2. Six feet on the dirt splatters? Impressive! Or as my Scandinavian grandmother would say, "ish da". Love you!

  3. Bonnie, yes, fortunately, it's still March (for a few days), so I can start over. Like I said, they weren't very impressive to start with.
    And Karma, I'm going for the gold! :)

  4. Anonymous28/3/12 00:53

    Also das sind mir zu viel spezielle Worte.
    Was ist jetzt mit "quit for a while" in dem letzten Blog?? Offensichtlich:
    "Die Katze läßt das Mausen nicht"
    Says your Daddy.

  5. Hab doch gesagt, dass ich nicht aufhöre, nur vielleicht halt nicht so oft schreibe; da hast Du nicht richtig aufgepasst.
    Und "Heideneinomal", dass verstehst Du doch, oder? :)